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susitaival

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* * *
Something got broken inside me

Thank you for that

Thank you for showing me

how useless I am

as if I didn’t know it already

I feel my soul bleeding

inside me

poisoning my organs

my shattered heart

until they give up

I wish it would happen soon

I am too tired to take a step

to pass this by

I just might stay here forever

in this pain

Bleeding forever

Current Mood:
numb numb
Current Music:
Stream of Passion
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I wish I was beautiful like everyone else.
Current Mood:
numb numb
Current Music:
Stream of Passion
* * *
* * *
I have met someone very special and I have never felt this good in my life. I feel like it is ok to just be me, someone takes me as I am. I feel free.
Current Music:
Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody | Powered by Last.fm
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 Art 2Collapse )
Current Mood:
calm calm
Current Music:
Ayreon: Into the Black Hole
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I can be now found in windows messenger, susitaival@windowslive.com
* * *
 I think I should start to update this more often. And I just might... 

Suomeksi on kyllä helpompi kirjoittaa, mutta eihän näitä kukaan suomeksi lue. Toisaalta itsellenihän minä näitä kirjoittelen. Terapiassa oli rankkaa, puhuttiin siitä, että jäänkö eläkkeelle vai en. Uskomatonta, että sitä on taas tässä tilanteessa. Mutta eipä voi mitään. Sairas mikä sairas. Olisi vaan paljon helpompaa, jos olisi kroonisesti jalka poikki koko ajan, niin sitä voisi siten vähän siellä KELAssa vilauttaa, niin johan alkaa päivärahat juosta...

* * *
 Had a major bulimic attack yesterday, I feel like shit now. I have been losing lots of weight during the January, 4 kilos all together. I felt great until last night. Well, it is over now and I can go back to my rexia...
* * *
 Run and tell all of the angels
This could take all night
Think I need a devil to help me get things right
Hook me up a new revolution
Cause this one is a lie
We sat around laughing and watched the last one die
I'm looking to the sky to save me
Looking for a sign of life
Looking for something to help me burn out bright
I'm looking for a complication
Looking cause I'm tired of lying (trying)
Make my way back home when I learn to fly
I think I'm done nursing the patience
It can wait one night
I'd give it all away if you give me one last try
We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life
Run and tell all the angels that everything is alright. . .
Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone
Try and make this life my own
* * *
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh..
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